I used to wait tables at Applebees and bartended at Chez Pierre in Tallahassee, Florida, in the mid-1990s. Although the customers usually tipped me 20% or more on their tabs, those tips were just enough to cover groceries, gas, and pay my third of the rent. I was young, single, and unencumbered with the typical trappings of adult life. Reality didn’t stress me out in my early twenties. Still, I was sometimes haunted by the fact that I could never buy a lovely home, take a real vacation, or handle any significant unexpected expenses with my tips. And I watched many of my coworkers struggle to provide for their children. Sudden large medical bills completely devasted them, too. I had other career aspirations, but I knew a few twists of fate could quickly put me in a position where life wasn’t so rosy. I vowed that one day, when I “made it,” I would hand out big, fat tips to strangers working in the service industry.
I often tried to convince a few prominent philanthropists to adopt my idea as their own, but no one was ever interested. They frequently commented about how they gave someone a 100% tip, such as $20 on a $20 tab once – like I was supposed to be impressed by their generosity. (And yes, a 100% tip is nice, but I was trying to convince them to give away life-changing money.)
Over the decades, I have given the occasional $100 tip on a tiny tab. It always felt great, but those times reminded me that I had not reached my goal of becoming the philanthropist who dolled out much more significant, life-changing tips. The hard truth was that I often needed the money I was giving away, but it felt so good to make someone else’s day that I did it anyway.
As I approached age 44, I was frequently reminded that I had not “made it.”
There I was: depressed, stuck, and numb. Although I was “crushing it” at work—consistently surpassing all my goals—I was burning out. In addition, promotional opportunities didn’t exist because my division hadn’t established a career ladder. My career, which had been exceptionally rewarding, seemed to have come to a grinding halt.
I was losing interest in just about everything, too. I was in a funk—stuck in the trough of disillusionment. Then, one day, my boss, who was always highly complimentary of my work, quit. I started reporting to other bosses who openly told others that my team’s excellent sales results would have happened anyway without my team’s efforts. I felt like I was wasting my life in time-sucking, soul-crushing meetings, talking about the same things every day with people who did not value me and my contributions. I thought my life had become incredibly dull, with no real purpose. (There is more to the story here, but what you need to know is that my new bosses gave me the little push I needed to make a change.)
So, I quit my stable and secure (19-year) career at GEICO for a job at a small company with an elevated title and a little more pay. That significant move didn’t change my outlook on life. Instead, I found myself in a similar situation—feeling depressed and stuck. I did not like working there. That’s okay—they decided they did not like me working there, either. I was suddenly let go, a perfect way to enjoy Christmas in 2018.
Being fired was the catalyst I needed. I decided to change my life drastically. I would take control of it, give it more meaning, and make real connections with people. I founded a company to help people think creatively, laugh, and build stronger bonds with others. I was determined to be that philanthropist who handed out surprise $1,000 tips, too. Being unemployed and plowing my life’s savings into launching a new business wasn’t exactly the best time to start handing out money to strangers. Still, I wouldn’t let a lack of money prevent me from giving away money. It was a simple hurdle. Every problem has at least one solution, right?
I started thinking about other ways to make this work. I thought maybe, just maybe, I could convince some friends to donate to the cause. And maybe I could persuade the Internal Revenue Service to buy in on the idea so foundations, companies, and large corporate sponsors could make significant donations and get a tax write-off, too. I paid for all of the legal fees and paperwork, enlisted the help of some intelligent people, and on July 11, 2019, it was approved! The United States Patent and Trademark Office granted an official registered trademark for THE BIG FAT TIP one year later. So here we are. Welcome to The Big Fat Tip® official 501(c)(3) website!
We need your support to keep it going. There are many easy ways you can generate money for this cause besides your direct donations on this site:
1) Create a Facebook birthday fundraiser.
2) Ask your company to match your donation.
3) Encourage your friends, family, employers, and foundations to donate.
4) Share our information on your social media channels.
5) Buy a “Show Me Your Tips” or “Just the Tip” tee-shirt. All proceeds will be donated to The Big Fat Tip for each BFT-branded tee shirt purchased. By wearing that shirt, you will show your support and generate more awareness for the cause. Raise some money while you are raising a few eyebrows!
With your help, we can surprise more hard-working people and spread a little more joy all over the United States. Let’s recognize and support those in the U.S. service industry by showing our deep appreciation for what they do for us and our local economies. But more importantly, let’s push out positive energy through these surprises – lifting those around us and giving them hope. All of the recipients have different stories, but the one thing they all have in common is the strong and positive emotions they feel from these surprise random acts of kindness and their commitment to passing that on to someone else. You can be the driving force pushing that positive energy out into the world.
Deedre Daniel, Founder of The Big Fat Tip® and The Interesting Conversations Company®
Note: The BIG FAT TIP, Inc. has no employees or salary expenses. Volunteers carry out all efforts. Vetted volunteers are often recruited to hand out the tips so that they can directly feel the impact of making a stranger’s day.
PS: I am MUCH happier now.
The Big Fat Tip allowed me to fulfill part of my mission (To Help People Think Creatively, LAUGH, and Build Stronger Bonds with Others), and I am ever so grateful to all who have donated and inspired others to do the same. THANK YOU!
Deedre Daniel, Founder and President
